Friday, December 7, 2012

Silent Snow

Today the snow came! As we were traveling with the tram we saw the first snowflakes falling outside. As soon as the kids stepped out of the tram, they started to jump up and down, run in circles and scream happily. Mila was running under the snow, red cheeked and all smiling, and was shouting "I am afraid of the snowflakes, I am afraid of the snowflakes!". You need to know, she's a very delicate creature and likes the feeling of being afraid or sad. A paradox of her tiny complex personality. 
In ten minutes everything was covered with snow, all white, silent and "christmasy".
And the reason why I open this post with a weather survey is not that I have refined English manners and find it a matter of taste to do some small talk about the weather first, no, the snow just changes everything. It is not cold, wet and dark any more, it is white! And I haven't seen a real snow in a place where I live since, let me see, five years now. That might be a legitimate reason for not doing anything all morning but looking out of the window the snow - falling gently in beautiful fluffy snowflakes, - and smiling like a child convinced that Father Christmas is on his way. 

I decided to ask an official permission from my university for an extension of six more months for my thesis. Along with the subtle and underhand sense of failure lurking down there in my always ready to feel guilty conscious, I feel also extremely enlightened. This was like a deep breath of true oxygen, now I can finally go to the Christmas market, now I can finally bake some cake and cookies, now I can stay with my kids and cut out paper snowflakes! Isn't that spectacular?! I am not doing any of these actually, ehm, not yet!, (well, only an apple cake), but the thought that now I actually could do all these things feels wonderful. 

And there is also that other story I was too embarrassed to tell about. We went with my husband to a concert of Great Lake Swimmers. The point is, I haven't even heard of those Canadian guys before Michele bought the tickets, a month before the concert. So I opened Youtube to see who are we actually going to listen to. In the beginning I kinda liked a song or two, and found them absolutely calm and sweet, and was dropping gently off to sleep by the third piece in a row. But the more I was listening to them, the more I was falling into them, I was realizing the purity and the poetry in the songs, I was also relating much to the stories told in those songs. The text- and musicwriter is Tonny Dekker, the lead singer. I was watching videos of them and they were reminding me actual friends of mine. I was thinking how well would they fit us as friends. In short, I lost my mind. Strangely, it is not really a music that strikes you at first, but rather sticks and whispers in silence within you its message of that perpetual search of a sign, a direction, and harmony, which we usually call wisdom. 
So, the embarrassing thing. As we got at the club, basically a tiny place where they could have played with no microphones as well, we started to look at the small stand with their albums - when suddenly Tony Dekker himself said "Hi guys" right behind us, because he was the one selling the CDs and now he was coming to take his place behind that desk. I got so surprised and scared that didn't even answer and escaped in a distant corner. Feeling embarrassed and a trembling teenager for 15 more minutes I finally went there, bought an album and got an autograph. Aaaaaahhhhh!!!!!!
The show was great, the club was cozy and full of introverts, smiling dreamily and swinging shyly. Great atmosphere!

A tribute to Great Lake Swimmers
and a very out-of-time tribute to Poetry Wednesday:


I'm still turning myself on to the great key, I'm still, I'm still
I'm still mining for light in dark wells, 

I'm still a frequency swaying, a leaf in the wind, 
I'm still searching for whispers in between yells,

I'm still swimming in harmony, I'm still dreaming of flight

I'm still lost in the waves, night after night

I'm still an arrow unshot, fixed in a bow,

I'm still a fire unlit, ready to go,

I'm still loaded and waiting, with anticipation to fly

I'm still studying the patterns in the night sky

I'm still a note that's unplayed, ink on a page,

I'm still a cry in the night, lonesome and high,

I'm still tuned to an instrument of greater and unknown design

I'm still looking for direction, some kind of sign

I'm still tuning myself to the great key, I'm still, I'm still


  1. Your description about the situation at the concert is hilarious. i think I would have reacted the same way.
    I looked up this band, and I love them. Like you said, perfect music for introverts.
    I am happy for you that you get more time to do fun things. I know from my husband how awful it can be to have to finish a dissertation.
    Enjoy the Christmas Market. I miss it a lot.
    Oh, and I love these photos, especially the second one.
    By the way, I am happy that we "met" through Julia. Even though we don't really know each other, and just communicate online, I feel a connection.
    It' also really fun for me to know that you live in Koeln now, and to see pictures of it. One of my best friends still lives in Koeln.

    1. I am also glad we met :). Internet is incredible, isn't it? I still remember a series of Star Trek: The Next Generation, which I saw as a kid on TV. In the episode which remained engraved in my brain cells forever the caracters were speaking to each other through their hologram images, as if standing one in front of the other. Now that we have internet and connect in a "wireless" way with our images (skype, e.g.) throughout the world, it feels as if we've reached that distant cosmic future which seemed so fascinating and imaginative only some 20 or 25 years ago *and by the way, Star Trek: TNG is situated in 2364–2370!).
      For this I am thankful for technologies!

  2. Evelina, I miss your posts. I hope you will find time to do this again. Although I understand if life keeps you busy.
    Anyways, just saying hello.